Kim Kardashian

Crushed glass, an empty theater that someone has just screamed in, Funions, a checkered plastic table cloth in an old Chinese restaurant, Jay Leno's hair

Taylor Lautner

A low-grade peanut butter factory, a Japanese Macaque's right forearm, the childhood friend's house that always smelled like brunswick stew

Kristen Stewart

Barbeque chicken, popcorn shrimp, licorice jelly beans, sand dollars that have been in a jar for two years with beach sand, pieces of driftwood and shards of obsidian

Stephen Colbert

Maple syrup, live oak twigs, a discharge of electricity,

Jay-Z

Vienna sausage, melting vinyl siding, Metamucil (orange flavor) mixed with saki

The Taylor Swift and Kanye West Incident

Cold Baked beans, Grape Fruit Roll-ups, lab experiment rabbits, the exoskeletal remains of hundreds of crickets in the corner of an attic in an old house that has now been converted into a real estate office in Greenville, South Carolina

Britney Spears

Vomit on a school bus after it has been covered by the deoderizing/drying agent, carnations, a packet of powedered milk and urine poured over the head of an old mannequin in the back room of a deserted TJ Maxx that is saturated with old rainwater, rust and disintegrating ceiling tiles from the collapsed roof, chewed strawberry Starburst

John Mayer

Hellmans Mayonaise, armpit hair growing, soggy white bread, intestinal blood

Regis Philbin

Cheap "memory foam", banana peppers, pencil shavings.